Saturday, November 29, 2008

"One can't eat money!"



Seyðísfjörður/Iceland
In an interview with Radio Prump the famous troll woman Grýla confirmed that she wasn't responsible for the kreppa (credit crunch):
"I'm engaged in natural disasters, earthquakes, landslides, avalanches and volcanic eruptions. I have nothing to do with the doings of so-called vikings. This mannskrattar (rascals) would be a good food for me. I'm only robbing cattle, humans and other edible stuff. One can't eat money!"

Monday, November 24, 2008

Global playing Vikings


From left to right: Björgólfur Thor Björgólfsson, Hannes Smárason, Jón Ásgeir Jóhannesson.



There is a new Icelandic word: "útrásarvíking". It means something like "global playing Viking".

Short Viking History: While must of Icelandic settlers built houses, raised cattle, caught fishes and held meetings from the year 874 onwards, some others sailed away and invaded England and continental Europe together with other Scandinavian Vikings. In Sagas and poems their feats survived. But in his novel Gerpla (Happy Warriors) Halldór Laxness drew a dark picture of this heroes.

I found an Icelandic poem "Útrásarvíkingarnir" about some new jaunting Vikings and give a loose translation.

We are as famous as a shark.
We spread in England our wings
and cashed big fishes in Denmark.
But why they call us foray vikings?

We dealt on credit extra bold
and made a profit a hundredfold.
Each of us got a global player:
Björgólfur, Hannes and Jón Ásgeir.

All that is ripe for sale we buy,
in every nook we smell a gain.
And we all do just on the fly
in our brave new private plane.

And no one ask a stupid question
because the press is our bastion.
More and more dough we want to mess,
we Jón Ásgeir, Björgólfur and Hannes.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Icelandic protester arrested



The picture is a montage* but it tells the scandalous truth:
The young man who raised the Bónus supermarket flag on the Icelandic parliament building two weeks ago (see here) was arrested yesterday evening. A "preventive" detention? Today as on each Saturday people in Reykjavík are demonstrating in front of the parliament building.
-----
* photos by Helgi Jóhann Hauksson et al

"Movement for a new republic in Iceland"



The Icelanders are missing Prince Polo, their favored Polish chocolate wafer. To get the Prince back they need the loans from IMF, Poland and other countries.
But many courageous Icelanders are prepared to abdicate the Prince any longer till they have cleared out their Augean stables. They declare that
"it is not in the interest of the people of Iceland that our current government receive loans from anyone."
And they appeal to IMF:
"Until then, please do not deliver the money."
Read the whole declaration.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Icelandic crunch talk



You can learn some useful crunch talk (krepputal) phrases:
Hver er ábyrgur? – Who is responsible?
Hvert er svínið? – Where is the swine?



And another important idiom:
Burt með spillinguna! – Away with the corruption!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Primus inter pares



"In what some are calling a misguided attempt to provide equal health services for its citizens, Sweden’s health authorities have only caused controversy by deciding to supply transsexual men with free prosthetic penises that don’t get erect ..."
read more about at Icenews

Mother of invention



Kreppa (crisis) is the mother of invention.

The Icelanders who used to build their houses of turf in the past centuries take again an organic mixture consisting of eggs, tomatoes and toilet paper to redecorate their stone buildings.

Dr. Gunnar Njálssöguson from the University of Iceland criticized the invention and insisted on homemade and cheap ingredients like sheep fat and lupines seed. Some angry blogger called him an "ignorant fool" (the Icelandic expression is a bit harsher).

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Kleppur - madhouse

An Icelandic joke



When you phone Kleppur (madhouse) you'll get an automatic answering machine:
You are connected with Kleppur.
If you have invested in Icelandic banks, press 1.
If you are hording provisions at Bónus, press 2.
If you really think anyone will be held accountable for the crash, press 3.
If you trust politicians and other Icelandic half-assed copycats to solve the problem, press 4.
If you deem it wise that the same shitty blockheads who played an important part in the crash, among them the Financial Supervisory Authority and the government, take care of the reorganisation, press 5.
If you think the Icelandic króna is a valid currency, press 6.
If nothing is chosen you will be connected to the office of the parliament at Austurvöllur.
You are number 168.537 in line.



I have cancelled the button 7 because it's to hard to explain the term "útrásarkrimminn". Here you can find the original Icelandic joke.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Bring joy to Iceland!





What is a better gift for Christmas?

For more gift ideas please visit Oxfam Great Britain

Monday, November 10, 2008

To flag the Aldi banner on the Reichstag building in Berlin ...

... would be the work of a fool.


Why did the Icelandic protesters raise the flag of the supermarket-chain Bónus on the parliament building in Reykjavík last Saturday?

Bónus belongs to one of the richest and mightiest Icelanders, Jón Ásgeir Jóhannesson, chairman of Baugur Group, who is supposed to be one of the causer of the Icelandic finance crisis. (By the way, in German the word Ásgeir looks like Aasgeier = vulture.)


Bónus is the cheapest supermarket-chain in Iceland and its flag shows a fat pink piggy bank.



Jón Ásgeir Jóhannesson now tries to concentrate the Icelandic mass media in his hands.

Look at the video of the protest in Reykjavík .

Visit the web page of Andri Snær Magnason and read about Bonus Poetry (Bónus ljóð) .